This song by Ronan Keating always reminds me of the 21months I had with you before your sister Sarah was born. You were my world,I was entranced by you and never thought I could love another child with thesame all encompassing dedication. I know I put you above your father. Yourneeds and wants were paramount, I understood for the first time what a“mother’s love” was, I would have (and still would) offered my life foryours. In many ways I still rush to your defence and feel that I show youthe depth of my love in such an inadequate way. I know that you feel I loveyour siblings more than you, putting their demands above your patientrequests, but it isn’t true, you were the one who made me a Mother. Welearnt our way together and yes time has marched on, I am not 26 any moreand I have healthier boundaries now, putting your father first amongst otherthings, but I remember when it was just the two of us with others lookingfrom the outside in. I love you so much, always have, always will.Journaled Feb 2008, photos from when you were 6 months old.
Music has always played a huge part in my life. I took piano lessons for 8 years and played in the school band for 5 on alto sax. I spent way more hours than I can count listening to all kinds of music, from rock to jazz and back again, on my stereo. I supposed I used it to escape a lot of teenage angst but nothing transports me the way a song can. Even now I can get lost in the sound for hours. Here are a few songs that bring back some special memories:
More Than a Feeling by Boston: That was SO our driving song when Terry and I were dating! I will never forget cruising around in that orangey Capri and rockin’ out to that song.
Let Me Be the One by Rik Emmett: this song completely encapsulates how I feel for my husband. It was the song we chose for our first dance as a married couple.
Hey Baby! by No Doubt: One of the first “grown up” songs Dominique caught on to---it was totally cute to see her singing along in her car seat as if she was Gwen Stefani. Now Gabriel is starting to do the same thing. My little rockers!
Ave Maria by Franz Schubert: I had to have this song for my wedding and it absolutely HAD to be in Latin. Luckily a coworker was a singer and could do it---amazing song. Evocative and timeless. No wonder so many people still have it for their wedding ceremonies.
I Wanna Be Your Dog by Joan Jett: She opened for Def Leppard on their 2000 Euphoria tour. That girl could rock (and get you to howl like a dog too!)
Where Do You Go by No Mercy: It might sound funny but I am transported to the Tomorrowland Terrace (at least that’s what it was called then) at Disneyland every time.
I always had dreams of becoming a professional musician but I lacked confidence. Too bad I will only be a rock star in my own mind…but at least I will have the great soundtrack of my life to get my groove on to!
Title: "Someday" begins today Journaling: There has never been a time when I didn't want to be your boyfriendThere had never been a time when I didn't want to know your nameThere has never been a time I didn't want youI swear I'm gonna marry you somedayWe spend hours on the phone but its never the sameNo, nothing good ever does come easy, nothing good ever comes w/o a fightI'm all alone and I wish that I was home with you tonightI swear I'm gonna marry you somedayMy girlfriend is like magic in my handWhen I lose my sparkle she's the only one that understandsI know I'm gonna marry you somedayI swear I'm gonna marry you...August 9, 2003was our"Someday"(song by everclear)
Into the Mystic by Van MorrisonWe were born before the windAlso younger than the sunEre the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mysticHark, now hear the sailors crySmell the sea and feel the skyLet your soul and spirit fly into the mysticAnd when that fog horn blows I will be coming homeAnd when that fog horn blows I want to hear itI dont have to fear itI want to rock your gypsy soulJust like way back in the days of oldThen magnificently we will float into the mysticAnd when that fog horn blows you knowI will be coming homeAnd when thst fog horn whistle blows I got to hear itI dont have to fear itI want to rock your gypsy soulJust like way back in the days of oldAnd together we will float into the mysticCome on girl...This song gives me chills when I hear it. It brings images to my mind of the communion and connection that can exist between two people. The absolute utmost feeling that miraculously can happen when you meet your soulmate. Someone that you would anxiously await their return from the sea. Not just communion between people, but communion between humans and the earth and the beauty that exists in feeling simple things happen like the feeling of the air on your skin. An absolute bond between body, soul and earth. It also makes me think of sailors sailing into the unknown, not knowing where they will go, but just trusting in their instincts and God to get the there. Imagine in times long ago when people had no idea of the geography of the earth and how scary and frightening it would be to sail somewhere and not know where you really might end up. Every time I hear this song, I have an actual bodily reaction to it, on some molecular level it just speaks to my soul. I can't explain it. No amount of words or thinking can try to illustrate the feelings I have when I hear it. I get actual goosebumps.