Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Cindy's challenge 78.


the layout is called 'Find Peace'

the journaling says
"Sometimes it was a flash flood.  Other times it came on like a slow-building rainstorm, the kind that gives you enough warning you might even have time to get inside before the clouds burst.  Once it started, though, there was nothing to do but let the sorrow pound you like the most powerful current, the strongest waterfall.  When the sorrow hit, small losses came crashing over you in one suffocating torrent." Joyce Maynard 'The Usual Rules'

This is how I imagine grief to be.  Moments of utter devastation, of uncontrollable sorrow.

But I walk this life like a zombie, just doing what has to be done without thinking or feeling.

It has been 5 1/2 years since mum passed away and I am still numb from it.  I havent cried, or got angry.  I have just got on with life like nothing happened, yet I feel empty inside.

I need to grieve, I need to allow myself to feel the pain of life without her, I need to cry, to scream, I need to feel, to love, to find peace.'

3 comments:

Gina L said...

Stefanie, this is such a moving LO. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum. Hugs coming your way. On a side note, I will email you the journaling from my "Little Intimacies" LO. Parts of it might not make sense to others, because it is just that: the little intimacies and private jokes between my husband and I. I do not mind sharing it at all, though. I'll get it sent out today. Gina L

Gina L said...

I am such an idiot. I just realized this is Cindy's LO, not yours!!! So I should be telling Cindy that I am sorry for the loss of her mom. Geez. I'm a nutjob. My only excuse is that I haven't had full brain use in the last several months. Anyway, I emailed my journaling to you and also posted about your challenge on my blog: http://ginasgorillaspeak.blogspot.com

Tracy said...

Oh, Cindy ... I just want to give you a big hug right now, friend ... and then I want to help you scream and cry and grieve so that you can move forward ... mourning somebody doesn't mean that you give them up in your heart after it becomes easier ... it's just the process of healing the deep sadness you feel all the time ...

Once you've mourned, you feel as though a weight has been lifted from your heart and, even though you don't miss your loved one any less, you feel a kind of peace ...

I wish that kind of peace for you ...

Lots of love, Tracy