Title: New Year's "Resolutions" 2008
Resolution #1: I will learn to paint or at least pretend that I know how to
paint and do it anyway.
Resolution #2: I will stop referring to my mother as “the evil one”.
Resolution #3: I will not brag about my amazing sex life, lest it disappear.
Resolution #4: I will not be sad that I am not supermom, but will try to
find underwear that say so.
Resolution #5: I will blog more about real things
instead of lists of things that I think are funny.
Resolution #6: I will not roll my eyes EVERY time my husband asks me if I
want to watch a zombie movie.
Resolution #7: I will wear pantyhose at least twice…and not on my head as
makeshift reindeer antlers.
Resolution #8: I will exercise more. LOL. I don’t really mean that one.
Resolution #9: I will go to bed before midnight on school nights.
Resolution #10: I will not write checks with my mouth that my butt can’t
Resolution #11 I will learn what a “butt cashing check” is.
Resolution #12: I will vacuum. No, really.
Resolution #13: I will stop thinking about Krispy Kremes in a sinful manner.
Resolution #14: I will finally figure out a scam to make money online.
Resolution #15: I will stop referring to that evil old goat at church as “
satan personified”, because Satan would probably be a lot hotter.
Resolution #16: I will invite friends over for dinner and cook it myself
Resolution #17: I will take more pictures of objects, because someday when I
die and finally become famous people will probably want pictures of my
Resolution #18: I will go back to college. I know…which one? Barber or
Resolution #19: I will stop joining online dating sites and using the name
of my high school nemesis. I think she may be benefiting from it.
Resolution #20: I will stop making New Years Resolutions. I mean really,
does anyone even remember them by February?